An Cosantóir

33 • Other commitments – other family members, friends etc. • How the extended family and friends can be involved • What others in the unit are doing (but avoid competition!) It is a good idea to plan a special – but not too hectic – family day. Readjustment – Post Tour Re-adjusting takes time and patience. Everyone needs to expect that there will be some disruption to routines and the home. It is normal at this stage that you might have some mixed feelings about your new situation. It is important that you acknowledge this, and for your family/friend groups at home to be aware and accept that you may miss the busy routine and adrenaline of the deployment. You may, by comparison, find family life mundane, or you might feel redundant, or an outsider, in your home life. As above, these feelings are completely normal and, over time and as you adjust to your new reality, will disappear. You should all, however, expect this disruption and be patient. Change your routines slowly. Some of the habits that you have developed while overseas, for example your training routine, are worth keeping and fitting into your home life (where possible). You can expect some surprises along the way – life (and people) can be unpredictable! But overall, this is an experience that should be enjoyed, being back together with loved ones and celebrating the renewed relationships. If you look after your well-being, both physically and emotionally, your loved ones will also benefit. How you deal with your feelings will affect how your family, partner children will deal with theirs. As a general guide: • Go slowly! Be patient with yourself and with those around you. • Adapt to the rules and routines already in place while you were away. • Let children set the pace for getting to know you again • Learn from how your partner managed the children • Be available to the child, both with your time and your emotions • Make individual time for each child and your partner • Support good things the family has done • Be consistent • Manage your time – don't forget to make time for yourself and other adults • Develop your new routine quickly and stick to it. • Try to eat healthily and maintain your training routine • Keep busy • Talk and listen to each other! As pointed out in previous articles, any of these stages may present issues for you, for partners and for children. The Overseas Guidance Booklet for Defence Forces Families provides clear information and advice for you and your family in dealing with the entire experience of deployment. The booklet is designed to be given to families, so your family should have received their copy before you deployed. Also, there are resources available in the family's section of military. ie. You are encouraged to use these, and they are also there for use of family members. Working Together – Supports Available to All Please Note: if at any time you feel that you are vulnerable, you should reach out for help. You can, and should, take responsibility for your own mental health - we should never leave it up to someone else. We need to be responsible and proactive in our thoughts and behaviours, to strengthen our peace of mind. What to do if you aren't doing well: Mental Health problems can affect any of us at any time. It doesn't matter who we are or where we are. Just because you are in a critical job, or close to going home, or very busy during your deployment, you still need to be aware of yourself and how you are doing. There are many supports available to us, as members of the Defence Forces (See Figure 2). You should be aware of these resources and that they are available to all personnel in the Defence Forces (irrespective of rank) and their families. Please be aware of your own psychological wellbeing and that of others. If you (or someone you know) are having difficulties, seek help. Figure 2. Supports So, who can help you and your family through all stages of deployment, including during the transition home? The Personnel Support Service (PSS): PSS staff are available to you in every location of the DF on island. Every overseas deployment and home unit is supported by PSS. You can access details of your PSS support team by emailing pss@military.ie. In some cases, PSS staff will visit you in your mission area, and will maintain contact with you throughout your deployment. PSS are available to both you and your family to support you through your deployment experience, including when you return home. The Chaplaincy Service: DF Chaplains are available in some mission areas and are always available at home to military personnel and to their families. DF Medical, Psychiatry and Clinical Psychology services: DF Clinical Psychologists are available to support members of the Defence Forces during their deployment. These services are usually contacted through your MO. The INSPIRE Counselling Service is a free and confidential service, available 24/7/365 to ALL Defence Forces personnel and adult family members – 1800 409673 Remember – the homecoming from overseas should be a happy, positive experience for all. Good luck to you all who are serving overseas at the moment and to those who will return home soon. And if you are struggling, please use the services and supports available. Safe travels! HEAD SPACE & TIMING

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