An Cosantóir

An Cosantóir May 2015 www.dfmagazine.ie 24 | M y interest in joining the Re- serve Defence Force can likely be traced back quite a few years. Shortly before sitting the leav- ing certificate in 1999 I had given some serious consideration to joining the PDF (or trying to, at least) as a cadet. While the idea appealed to me in various ways, I ultimately decided to opt for the more frequently travelled route of university and on to what I saw as a broader set of opportunities for employment. With that decision made, I ended up studying psychology and made my way into that same career some years afterward. All in all, I've been pleased with that decision and the rewarding career that it ushered into my life to this day. However, my interest in the Defence Forces never seemed to totally give way. In my career I found myself increasingly drawn towards psychologically sup- porting those who – by virtue of their own lines of work – found themselves confronted with what could fairly be described as extremes of human ex- perience. Over the past few years, in particular, I found myself working with gardaí, reporters, and various members of humanitarian organisations, many of whom had faced experiences of a traumatic nature. These men and women had actively chosen jobs that required them to run towards, and into, the very situations from which most people would (quite understandably) flee. What drove these people to put their lives on the line for others? What kept them at this work, all the while often receiving average salaries and – in the case of the Gardaí in particular – a lack of full gratitude from the general public? This suggested there was motivation to do this work that went far beyond putting food on the table. For many people – and perhaps men in particular – be- ing part of a military organisation probably holds a certain interest. Many of us have been raised on a steady diet of films and other depictions of military lives and activities. It's probably fair to say that military forces in general have come to be culturally associated with strength, courage, determination, and a sense of duty to something beyond oneself and one's personal concerns. To the extent that this is true, I began to consider if my involvement – even on a part-time basis – in the Defence Forces might be challeng- ing as well as deeply rewarding for me. Having come across an advertisement online for an RDF recruitment drive, I began to wonder if this might be an opportunity to become involved while also retaining the career I had worked hard to get into over many years. I gave it some thought, all the while trying to balance my desire to join with a questioning of myself as to my actual motives. Was I kidding myself by thinking that I could do this? Would I be fit enough? Further still, would I – at the ripe old age of 34 – stick out like a sore thumb when training with fellow recruits the ages of whom seemed to range between 18-25? In the end, I decided to do what has often worked well for me on numerous occasions in the past – I decided to give this my best shot and take whatever might follow. The first step I took was to attend an open day at Cathal Brugha Barracks at which a number of RDF privates showed groups of attendees around the barracks where RDF rep- resentatives of the various corps were based for the day. It may seem daft but I can recall a particular moment when having placed some body armour over my head I caught myself fully realising that the PDF personnel who wear these in combat settings do so to withstand attempts by others to kill them. On an intellectual level, of course, this by EOIN O'SHEA

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