www.military.ie the defence forces magazine
| 25
ThE 5 STAGES oF GRIEF
Loss is a strange beast and affects us all differently, however we all go
through a number of stages as part of coming to terms with loss. The
Kübler-Ross model of grief (the five stages of grief) describes five primary
responses to loss. These stages are denial, anger, bargaining, depression,
and acceptance. Someone who is grieving may go through these stages in
any order, and they may return to previous stages.
Denial: "This can't
be happening."
Individuals may
refuse to accept the
fact that a loss has
occurred. They may
minimise or outright
deny the situation.
It is suggested that
loved ones and
professionals be
forward and honest
about losses
to not prolong the
denial stage.
Anger: "Why is
this happening
to me?"
When an individual
realises that a loss
has occurred, they
may become angry at
themselves or others.
They may argue
that the situation is
unfair and try to place
blame.
bargaining: "I will
do anything to
change this."
In bargaining, the
individual may try to
change or delay their
loss. For example,
they may try to
convince a partner
to return after a
breakup, or search
for unlikely cures in
the case of a terminal
illness.
Depression:
"What's the point
of going on after
this loss?"
At the stage of
depression the
individual has come
to recognise that a
loss has occurred
or will occur. The
individual may isolate
themselves and
spend time crying and
grieving.
Depression is
a precursor to
acceptance because
the individual has
come to recognise
their loss.
Acceptance: "It's
going to be okay."
Finally, the individual
will come to accept
their loss. They
understand the
situation logically,
and they have come
to terms emotionally
with the situation.
For more help and advice
contact either bPSSo,
Chaplain or MAP or call
one of the following:
Careline 1800 409388
| Samaritans NI 08457
909090 | Samaritans
1850 609090 | AWARE
1890 303302
