An Cosantóir

An Cosantóir October 2015 www.dfmagazine.ie 22 | FUll-time PArt-timers by REC EOIN O'SHEA, 7 INF BN PHoToS by PTE DAVID HOGARTY, 2 BDE HQ I sit at the keyboard, gathering my thoughts concerning the past two weeks of recruit fTT (full-time training) with 5 Platoon, D Coy, 7 Inf bn. Having returned home earlier today, and with my wife and young son gone to bed, I'm alone now, and the memories of the past frenetic fortnight begin to settle. The very fact that I'm comfortable, unhurried, and surrounded by warm familiarity seems both a relief and yet also strange and slightly hollow and I wonder how to sum up what has been, in some respects, the most challenging two weeks of my life. FTT began at 'the Brugha' with a series of induction lectures concerning the handling of possible grievances, what was expected of us, and various other practical matters. Though we were welcomed and wished the best, the urgency that would characterise the next fortnight began as soon as we settled into our billets. From the outset, every task assigned to us was yelled (though not abusively). We rushed – and often ran – everywhere, and life every morning from 07:00 until dusk was characterised by a sense of chaotic and inescapable rush; what one of our NCos wittily referred to as Gaeilge as "Seomra Flapagaí!" This was to prove one of the greatest challenges for myself and many others – this urgency that everything be completed rapidly while remaining rooted in the present moment. We had to be 'switched on' almost all the time. Never before had I realised how slow, gathered, and leisurely I spend most of my time in day-to-day life. Suddenly, breakfast and other meals had to be 'inhaled'; we were timed while we stripped, cleaned, oiled, and reassembled our Steyr rifles; even our 'free time' in the evenings was spent polishing boots, ironing uniforms, and maintaining our accommodation as best we could. Errors in either timeliness or effort expended at tasks were met with 'corrective actions', tasks to be completed if our perfor- mance, duties executed, or general behaviour did not reach expected standards. Ideally such corrective actions would match (in some meaningful and useful way) the tasks in question, which had not been completed to our NCos' required standards. In practice, countless push-ups, short sprints, or added domestic duties, had a strong feel of punishment – and helped motivate us not to make the same mistakes again. As early as the second or third day I began to notice changes in how I experienced both myself as a person as well as how I began to perceive my environment and required behaviour. Though I never completely lost sight of the person I am, the narrative of my life – my identity as structured by my civilian job, my likes and dislikes, my social connections outside of the Defence Forces – began to fade into the background. Living moment-to-moment as we now had to, I was constantly pushed to the perceived edge of my competence and capac- ity to function effectively. In short, I felt like a flustered and incompetent student, often making errors and rarely comfortable at anything. RDF Recruit Training Rec Eoin O'Shea

• Cover