An Cosantóir

www.military.ie the defence forces magazine | 23 While this often felt chal- lenging, and sometimes unpleasant, the other side of the coin was that I was learning within mere hours to do things that I had never dreamed it possible to learn over many times that dura- tion. Though I am not espe- cially athletic or 'good with my hands', I was realising (during our rare spare moments) that I was stripping my rifle faster, and handling IAs (immediate actions) with less hesitation. I was also losing weight, despite the good food we received three times daily, as the average caloric output of a recruit in training is supposedly some 3,800 calories a day. yet another challenge was the time spent away from loved ones. Although my wife and 10-month-old son were visiting family abroad over the same fortnight, I found myself long- ing to see them in the evenings when I was not completely swamped by the day's duties and lessons. Though the course is only two weeks long, I realised how painful (but also admirable in terms of the sense of duty and commitment) our colleagues' experience in the PDF must be – 17 weeks of PDF recruit training followed by various six-month tours overseas is not something I could bring myself to do at this point in my life. Following our first week in Dublin, we recruits (and our 2* Private comrades from D Coy) were bussed to Gormanston for the second week. The physicality of the training eased slightly, only to be replaced by the stress of our upcoming ToETs (tests of elementary training) – essentially a series of tasks to be performed, often timed, that focus on the safe and effective use of our weapons. Though I was gutted when a small number of us failed our initial ToETs, a repeat test shortly thereafter was successfully passed by all. We were paid a visit by a number of senior DF personnel in- volved in various ways with our training and organisation. They showed a genuine interest in hearing about our experiences as well as the further development of the RDF. The general views and manner we encountered from our PDF colleagues of all ranks was supportive and respectful. Bearing this in mind, it will be interesting to see what changes to the role of the RDF may occur following the recently issued White Paper on Defence. our final two days were spent doing what many of us had looked forward to the most – firing the Steyr on the Gorman- ston range. Words can't express the thrill of those first few shots, the flash followed by a small, rapid twitch of the barrel, the kick of the butt against the shoulder, and the lingering whiff of gunpowder as the next round awaits release. With some coaching from our NCos and adjustments to our sights by the armourer on the day, we all put in what seemed like a reasonable performance, especially since many had never fired a weapon in their lives before. As the sun went down on our last day, we marched the nar- row, country path from beach-side range to base, singing any- thing from The Last of the Irish Rovers to cartoon theme tunes. Now, looking back I can clearly see that the single most im- portant factor in keeping with the programme was the support we recruits provided to each other. This took numerous forms but I will never forget the role that humour, irreverent banter, and countless instances of practical assistance from fellow recruits provided in this regard. Within hours of commenc- ing FTT – and to an unprecedented level by the time we had finished – my comrades and I in 5 Platoon have become bonded in an unusually close way. I can honestly say that I care about every one of them and look forward to progressing together with them in the years to come. Though some will leave the RDF for various reasons – including a number who have applied for either general recruitment or cadetships – I believe that through the struggles we've faced together in training, I have made close friendships which will really last. our relationship with our NCos and commissioned officers de- fies simplistic description. What felt, at first, like punitive and harsh interaction now appears in a different light. our superiors were not there to be our friends. They held us accountable for our progress (or lack thereof) and had some fairly choice (and loud) words for any and all of us who did not give our utmost in every way. How- ever, over the course of the two weeks, it became more apparent to me that every feature of our training – including interpersonal harshness at times – is intended to acclimatise us to a mode of mental and physical functioning designed to keep both us and the rest of our comrades alive during instances of peak stress. That a military force has its own culture was something I had heard often over the years and thought I understood. But now 'military culture' seems to me less like a series of activities and abstract values and more like a state of mind. It represents a unique way of perceiving oneself, one's role, and one's part within a group. It is accompanied by changes in focus, pacing, attention to detail, as well as the placing of one's own interests behind those of the group within which one functions. And this has been both challenging and rewarding for me in equal measure. And so I sit here quietly, slightly stiff, and with elbows still sore from leopard crawling through the grass. I am glad to be home – of that there is little doubt. And yet, as I prepare to turn off the computer and thankfully make my way to an unhurried rest, I ex- pect that the first sight I may see when I close my eyes is a circular reticule affixing on a mottled silhouette 300 metres away. Next summer, it's once more into the breach!

• Cover